Unconscious effort we make to sustain a relationship
I read a very lovely piece of advice by Paul Feist and was surprised to check his online profile which is a punch on the face with honesty. Although he claims to be an unapologetic omnivore and an introvert, I still find his advice so relatable.
So I was thinking about the techniques I usually use to end fights with my lover and husband. Ahem! so let’s get this straight I always make the effort and he is very lazy to do that. So, even when we are usually chatting, I am the official chaperon to start the conversations and drive it through. He would be the mute audience who may or might not respond. Yes, sometimes that is exactly what I feel.
So, like always today also history repeated itself, and first, he woke me up because he was missing me and wanted to talk about something and his usual way of saying it – Let’s have tea together! So, as usual, I prepared tea and some breakfast to check what with him today as Sunday Special. Now, again it was on me to start the conversations and although am feeling some mood swing for many things I lost my temper today and said what with this trend of me always starting the conversation. Why don’t you start it today? To let you know guys just as a history that this is not the first time we argue about there is a huge history around this topic for almost 10 years. So, you can understand we have had a beautiful love marriage and have faced all thick and thins through this time so this is like a part of the play.
So going back to the fact that our argument started and more for that fact that he woke me up at 4 am to talk to me when he does not have anything to talk about. You can imagine I was fuming flames from my mouth. We were arguing inconsolably and around 6 he said he will go out and get the grocery. I had nothing more to say I said fine then I will hit the bed again as I regret the day start and want to reinvent the wheel.
As decided, he went out and I went back to sleep with kids. After 20-30 odd min, he returned back and rang the bell. He also has the house key but prefers to do it this way when I am home – says he loves it when I open doors for him. He tells it reminds him of the days when after nightshift job he used to come back home and I use to wait for him and snuggle away all worries. So, I woke up opened the door took grocery and move straight to the kitchen to wash them and sanitize. He went straight to the washroom to sanitize himself as we all can be related to the days of COVID-19. None of us spoke as it was not required. He went straight to the bedroom and I made tea for him again ( connoisseur of tea).
With the tea on our side table, I snuggled with him in the bed and got free from all the worries. Yes ! he is my stressbuster and rebooted my day. Have you ever done this before?